The lesson's I have learned from bicylces

EDIT:  I've added #8 which I had forgotten about, likely because of the head trama it involves!

1: Do not drive down the Beach Meadows boardwalk on your bike with your eyes closed. You will hit the railing and fall off your bike.


2: Do not purposely ride your bike head first into your brother’s bike when you are racing around the house. He is much bigger and heavier than you.

3: Do not let your best friend drive your new princess bike on the day you received it as a birthday present. She will like it just as much as you and will not want to get off. You will proceed to get in a fight, one of you will get punched in the nose and someone’s hair will get pulled and both of you will end up crying. You will make up 15 minutes later.

4: Do not get too attached to your princess bike because a couple years down the road, your brother will dismantle your bike to use parts of it to assemble a strange combination of your little bike and his big bike.

5: Do not let your older much larger brother drive your bike, especially if you still like it. He will proceed to fall over the handle bars while going UP hill, break off the gear shifters and possibly break his nose. You will then feel the need to run home in tears like a wild child and proclaim to your parents that you have killed your brother!

6: Do not stop suddenly after going down a large hill when the person behind you had not mastered the art of hand breaks! They will run into you and bend the rim of you tire.

7: When crossing railways tracks on your bike, always abide by the road signs. If you are not careful and the road is slippery, you will slip into the railway tracks, and fly over the handle bars of your bike into traffic.  The hand grips will fly off,  the front tire will be twisted backwards and the chain will get wound around the foot peddles. Traffic will continue to drive around you as you lie stunned and bleeding on the road. A homeless man will eventually take pity on you and help you to the side of the road. He will be nice to you and offer to get you some band aids from a friend of his.

8: When your brother asks you to do something, you should probably listen because he does not make empty threats.  When your brother is practicing his slap shot in the driveway and you keep driving your bike in front of the net, he will ask you to stop.   Being an annoying little sister you will continue to drive you bike around in circles in front of the net.  He will threaten to shoot the puck at you, but you will not listen.  He WILL shoot the puck at you and it will hit you full force on the side of the head and will probably knock you off the bike.  You will cry and run to your mom and her response will be:

Mom:  Did he ask you to stop?

Me (sobing): Yesss

Mom:  Did you?

Me (still sobing):  Noooo